What kind of a world do we find acceptable. What kind of world can we tolerate. What kind of word would we like this to be in the future. When would we like the future to begin? These questions are profound yet can be answered in a blink, from the gut, without stopping to think.
IR = Integrity Re-definers
VSS = Vapour-Sniffer Scouts
What kind of world are we passing through right now. We half believe. We have one limp hand on a statue of a person who once said "love thy neighbour as thyself" and "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Our other hand confidently grips a daily dictate written by "experts", whose wisdom has lead to the solemn revelation that there's only one possible reason in the world that a person would want to call for an end to war. Calling for an end to aggression toward nations states is an obvious indicator that a person has been converted to such ludicrous notions by people who live in Russia. These poor misguided souls will be henceforth tagged as "useful idiots of the Kremlin" - a dark place where nothing good has ever, or could ever possibly happen, because everyone in there is wicked.
These are all troubling thoughts, but we need to rest assured that the situation is being taken care of by a team of specialists in which we can place our trust, and upon whom we can unquestioningly rely. At this point I might remind concerned citizens that we had all of this kind of bother back in the 1950s. I'm told there were even cases of actual Russians discovered hiding under the beds of innocent coffee drinkers. Shocking. Anyway, our trusty crew of fixers have a trick or two up their sleeves for dealing with every occasion - from irritating protests by hordes of noisy pacifists, to unexpected spontaneous break-outs of all out harmonious peace and unity.
Our specially trained communicators and our most wise experts often refer to people calling for an end to interventional politics as "St. Petersberg trolls". They remind us to look out for these unfortunates, repeatedly, every day, in every publication benevolently supplied by our industrious Christian-minded leaders. Our mysteriously appointed yet beautifully turned out "group leaders" write up knowledgeable reports all about how individuals couldn't possibly think up such perverted philosophy as "wanting wars to end" all by themselves. They patiently explain in laymans' terms, with helpful, user-friendly graphs and fuzzy satellite imagery of soil and rocks, how such reprehensible tendencies are never the result of deep contemplation, physical and emotional experience, or consensus of like-minded people from various locations on planet earth; absolutely not. Pacifism, and related types of errant thinking, such as an aversion to violence, or seeking a world where countries have a right to be left alone to determine their own destiny, always originate from one source, and one source only, always, (so no need to check), they come from Russia.
For example, if a person shows signs of wanting to stop a huge, extremely benevolent Super Power from helping a lowly, downtrodden, illiterate starving country with lots of oil, by finding them a new, much more sensible leader, this person has definitely been infected with evil Russian military grade thought-vapours. These vapours spread ideas through the brain - and we all know how dangerous that can be. Ideas, especially of kindness and tolerance, are the scourge of the modern world; they need to be identified and completely eradicated from the human consciousness, before it's too late for us, and too late for our children.
We simply cannot allow people to indulge in outlandish and whimsical plots based upon "sharing resources", or "talking to each other like adults instead of dropping bombs", or even that most deadly thought of all..."trying to get along with each other using diplomacy and grace". Well. Need I say more. I'm quite sure you can see where all that might lead.
If the person affected by Russian thought-vapours is a friend of yours or a family member, the best thing you can do for them is to report them to your local expert, at your local Correct Information Center. These helpful centers have many effective treatments, including the popular and very affordable "Common Raison d'etre" package, and of course, for more severe cases, the unbeatable, guaranteed 100% vegan "Complete Mindwash" (currently trending on TwitsAreUs").
FAQ
Q. A commonly asked question in our centers: is the Complete Mindwash reversible?
ANSWER: of course not.
CAUTION:
There are reports of isolated cases of reinfection. These cases are rare, but can cause upsetting scenes at bus stops etc.
EXAMPLE:
A lady was on her way to her Mindwash Mondays refreshing booster course, standing at a bus stop in Outer DailyMailia, when all of a sudden she remembered that her trusted leaders used to talk about a person called God - especially when the army was on their way to help a failing country to get their shit together by kicking all their citizens out into the desert. Anyway this God person had a son, and the lady remembered that this son had some cheeky one-liners and few little catch-phrases that caused quite a buzz, back in the day. Unfortunately she couldn't remember any of them, which caused her a lot of confusion and distress. She did remember that the leaders used to talk about God quite a lot when they wanted votes and money; she became extremely agitated, and began to scream and rant uncontrollably. The lady was taken away and we don't know where she is now.
INTEGRITY REDEFINITION'S post "post-truth" CONCLUSION:
When people call for an end to war, some much more sensible people always step in to remind these perverts that we can't stop being at war, because the economy would collapse. After this post "post truth" truth has been disseminated by clusters of our most accomplished Integrity Re-definers, and reinforced by our most obedient and noble Vapour-Sniffer Scouts, it is actualised within corrected communities everywhere, and fully realised by the masses of the less marvellous. At the moment of realisation, there's usually a fearful gasp, followed by a whistful nod by everyone present, before they wander off, hands in pockets, whistling "if I only had my brain back I could work this out"...
I did hear an urban myth that the bloke with the one-liners got a bit handy with some piss-taking bankers in a temple once, a very long time ago. This lead to him being hammered to a cross as a lesson to anyone else with far-fetched ravings about "peace and good will". Quite right too. I'm now beginning to realise those Russians have been busy with the vapours for a lot longer than we first suspected. Be careful out there.
